United Airlines Exploring Viability Of Stacking Them Like Cordwood

Posted by Stephen Michaelson on Monday, November 2, 2009 · View Comments 



airline-seatingCHICAGO—In its ongoing effort to cut transportation costs and boost profits, United Airlines announced Tuesday that it was exploring the feasibility of herding passengers into planes and stacking them like cordwood from floor to ceiling.

In-flight amenities will still include the breathable pressurized air United is known for.

“Research shows that we lose millions of dollars each month by having them all sit upright in individual seats for the duration of the flight,” said CEO Glenn F. Tilton, speaking to reporters at United Airlines’ corporate headquarters. “However, if we were to remove these seats, we could just sort of stack them all in there, one by one, as they file into the plane.”

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About Stephen Michaelson
Publisher, editor, and principal author of «ex-United.com». Freelance project writer and researcher based in Carol Stream, Illinois. New media veteran since 1998.

  • munki
    PLEASE ADD UNITED AIRLINES - Airline does not honor

    I made a reservation for an international flight. They told me 72 hours to be ticketed and the last day, they raised fare by 20%. Does this make sense? No information of the fare change was given, but quoted a price and asked to be ticketed in 72 hours. WHAT KIND OF WAY OF DOING BUSINESS IS THIS?

    ARE THEY GOING TO BE COMPETITIVE IN THIS GLOBAL MARKET? This was for an INTERNATIONAL flight...

    I booked with NW, they hesitantly honored as responsibility, AA had no issue and simply never gave me any problem... UAL is the only one REFUSED to honor.
  • bob
    You ought to investigate Tilton's beating feat from Houston related to the Enron debacle. He was on the pension board and an executive at Dynergy, which was a large minority owner of Enron. He didn't come to Chicago to save United, rather to save himself. I read a lawsuit regarding Dynergy on the Internet in which he was named a defendent.
  • exUnited
    I'll look into it if someone can provide me with some substantive background info.

    Tilton was a ChevronTexaco SVP; ChevronTexaco owned 27% of Dynegy; Dynegy's business model was Enron, in the highly speculative world of energy trades and trading. Enron and Dynegy were proposed merger partners until the bottom dropped out of Enron.

    When the Dynegy CEO was forced to resign, Tilton became interim CEO of Dynegy, presumably to do damage control on behalf of ChevronTexaco.

    Who knows? Tilton fancies himself as a merger-master ... first, Chevron and Texaco, now United and Continental, and then ... what? Maybe he was the real mastermind behind Dynegy's proposed merger with Enron? And when it became a debacle, maybe the ChevronTexaco board said, "OK, Glenn, you broke it, so now you own it," and he became interim CEO of Dynegy.

    If true, this would 1) give credence to your theory that he had to get the hell out of there in a hurry; and 2) help explain why he bailed out of the oil/ energy industry altogether.

    Funny how he ended up at United ... I remember the talk at the time was that he was clearly not their first choice for CEO, but nobody else (i.e., a qualified exec with airline experience) would take the job under any circumstances.
  • exUnited
    Have you enjoyed this bit of satire? I did too. Now go here:

    http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTV...
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